We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
