I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
