every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
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