Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
