her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
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