New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
