I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
