i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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