tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Randomize
