Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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