Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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