Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
