I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
