You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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