There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
