Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
