i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
