Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
