would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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