Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize
