I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
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I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I love you. Go after that dick
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize