Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
