need another drink. this is the easiest way
Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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