I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize