oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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