so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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