You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
is that a dick in a sweater?
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
