I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
