Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
