He asked to "fluff my boner.."
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
