This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
