Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Randomize
