Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Randomize
