apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
