I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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