We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
