508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
