You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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