Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Randomize
