turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
