after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Randomize
