You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
