No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Randomize
