I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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