I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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