Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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