In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
