hotel room ftw
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Randomize
