I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
