I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
