I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son