Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,