This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize