Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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