Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
These 21 People Came Up With Hilarious Excuses For Their Hickies
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime