Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Randomize
