I cannot find my penis.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
its liver damage thursday
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
