honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
