We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
