Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
and she was petting her beer can
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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