Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
